Fear Foods.

How can food be feared? 

This is one of the questions I'm asked quite often when I express fear over eating a particular food or meal. To 'normal' people it seems somewhat bizarre to fear something that tastes delicious; to fear something that keeps you alive. But to Eating Disorder sufferers food is more than a basic need and it's morphed into this love-hate relationship. Everyone needs food to live including Anorexics. We don't starve ourselves completely because there is no way we would survive in the short term. Instead we restrict our intakes in a careful and controlled manner. It's all calculated; either by calories, macros, or simply by portion size. Every sufferer is different but we all have this destructive relationship with food.

Because we are so controlling with our intake eventually we compile this long list of fear foods. Some foods are obvious and others may confuse those around us. I know my fear of water left people gaping at the mouth; water has zero calories. However my fear of water was linked to water weight and also the fear that it was all lies and in fact it had masses of calories. Eating Disorders are not logical. No matter what the food is, the fear is very real to the sufferer and it can cause extreme anxiety. At my worst I had to wash bowls, plates, and cutlery numerous times to get the calories off them if someone else had used them. I also believed that touching something would mean the calories would seep into my skin and create fat. Again, Eating Disorders are NOT logical.

The best approach to someone who is struggling with fear foods is to not make fun of them or call their fear invalid. Remember what seems odd to you is terrifying to the sufferer. You could quite happily eat a chocolate bar or drink a glass of juice and enjoy it BUT a person with an ED views this as losing control. They believe that one chocolate bar is going to make them gain loads of weight. Making fun of someone's fears makes them feel embarrassed and ashamed. They are less likely to confide in you again and less likely to tackle the fear food in your presence or even tackle it at all.

Encourage the sufferer to tackle a fear and possibly eat the fear food with them at the same time. We feel so much safer if we tackle the fears with someone rather than on our own. It also makes eating the fear food seem normal and not something to be feared. Creating a comfortable atmosphere helps too because a relaxed and calm environment puts the sufferer at ease. Try taking the emphasis off the food by talking about something else or about yourself; sufferers can be very inwards and spend a lot of time focusing on their own problems. It's good to plan an activity for afterwards as a distraction because guilt can have a negative impact on the sufferer and they may choose to purge the challenge or restrict later on to compensate.

The most important part of helping someone tackle a fear food is to keep encouraging them to challenge it until it becomes safe. Usually eating the fear food once does not banish the fear. I know when I was challenging chocolate I would eat a different bar every monday. The more you eat the fear food and the longer you do it, the more likely it is that it will become safe.